Noticing what I am Noticing

Awareness is an interesting thing... As I continue in my practice I increase the awareness of how things are settling into my body. January has been incredibly stressful at work. The work days have been long and full of intensity, the situations have needed a lot of practicing ahimsa (do no harm). Indeed, I have also been practicing selflessness in my actions at work - asking questions and suggesting changes for the greater good. This has been the majority of my practice in January.

What I am noticing, as my asana practice becomes sacred space and my meditation is integrated into my daily routine, is that I am becoming more aware. I am noticing shifts of perception that are happening in seconds now that, in the past, would take days or weeks. When I started this journey I was blissfully oblivious to what was going on around and within me. I didn't feel anything unless it was extreme. For example; for me to qualify as "being sick" I needed to have a fever and be completely unable to move. However, now, I am sensing the signs leading to illness and able to take appropriate preventative action - rest!

Now, here's the interesting part. I was the recipient of information a couple of days ago that would, in the past, set off a chain reaction of events driven by past conditioning - fear, self doubt, anger. Today, during a meeting, I noticed myself drifting from intense concentration on the conversation... then immediately into nothingness... then I found my thoughts focused on the personal situation. I noticed this shifting of thoughts and had an experience of "WOAH... what just happened!"

Noticing this enabled me to make a choice: I could refocus or continue into la-la-land. All kidding aside, I was able to quickly recognize the issue and re-focus my attention and concentration for the remainder of the meeting. Then, after the meeting, something important happened... I gave myself the gift of space to honestly feel what I was feeling and not judge but accept that it is what it is. Again... noticing what I am noticing here. I'm being honest with my feelings and not judging them as good or bad but accepting them at the point in time.

I am awed...